If you were in my bathroom that morning, you would have seen me BAWL my eyes out. If you were my Best Friend, you would have received my sad, sad, sad texts messages. If you were my husband, you would have tried everything in your power to make me feel better, to let me know that I was in fact the most beautiful woman in the world to him, even when I didn’t feel beautiful to anyone (I'm a lucky, lucky girl). As a matter of fact, you don’t even want to KNOW what I see when I look in the mirror… It’s awful and I know that, I’ve just felt this was for a VERY long time and change doesn’t happen overnight. I'm working on it... I am!
I had not been on the scale in almost 4 weeks, because I was becoming obsessed with weighing and ending up disappointed every single time there wasn’t any movement. It’s MADNESS, It’s CRAZINESS, It’s an OBSESSION!
I recognized this and made the decision on my own to stay off the scale for a few weeks, while continuing my calorie counting and workouts. Now, let me say, I’m a BIG girl. I've always been a big girl and my workouts aren’t your typical workouts. I can’t run or jog a continuous mile, I can't lift a millions pounds, and I sure as hell can't do a set of burpees (well, I can... they just aren't pretty... Like AT ALL!). BUT my workouts are tough on me and I give it my very best. I sweat and I swear a LOT! I have the mouth of a sailor… Don’t judge!
Back to May 1st… the awful May 1st! I woke up, received the sweetest “Good Luck” text message from my Bestie and went to weigh. Are you FREAKING kidding me?! *Sigh*
I had only lost 1.5 POUNDS in THREE and a HALF weeks… Are you freaking kidding me right now?! SERIOUSLY!!! 1.5 POUNDS, I mean what is that anyway?!
Bestie and hubby were quick to remind me, my body shape is changing and I feel better… THAT is change! It’s not the change I was hoping for on the scale, but it’s CHANGE! They are right.
I looked over my calorie counting log and it hit me in the face… I wasn’t eating bad, but I wasn’t eating enough! My body was STARVING!
Stay tuned… On Friday, I will touch on my calorie intake/outtake, where I was coming in, what it was and wasn’t doing for my body and what changes I HAVE to make to get healthy and remember...
Well, margaritas are actually my best friend, but water is good too! I kid, I kid... Kind of!